Who's your boyfriend?
by HellRaiserAlchemist
Summary: Well. Iori and I are high on Dr. Pepper. ...HOLY FECK KATSU NO WA HYOUTEI. ...Anywho. Real...summary type thing inside.Warnings: Boylurve, swearing, and several AU pairings. We thought it'd be funny...Apparently Angst and Comedy equal Fluff. Wow.
1. Chapter 1

Hyoutei-Seigaku…gone horridly wrong.

So…uh. This was suppose to be a spoofy-spinoff-ish thing of the official match between Hyoutei and Seigaku….but uh. It took a few interesting turns as we continued drinking our Dr. Pepper (PURE IMPERIAL SUGAR CANE BABEH …oh look Imperial YAY IMPERIAL HYOUTEI!!!) but uh…point is. The plot kind of changed. So, to give you a small idea of what's going on:

Hyoutei and Seigaku are suppose to be playing a friendly match. Fuji's still bitter about Jirou beating his brother, but y'know. It's Fuji. He likes holding grudges. ….But um. Things start taking interesting turns from this match. Enjoy!

….What happened to this being a short one-shot fluff?

…OH GOD IT HAS CHAPTERS TT-TT!!!!

* * *

"I will destroy you for publicly embarrassing my sweet little brother." Fuji glared across the court, stepping back to take serving position. Faintly he heard his brother yelling in the background, "BAKA ANIKI! URUSAI!" Though he paid little mind to it. The lines that really caught his attention were the ones coming from a certain player on his team…one he thought he'd known well up to this point. 

"NYA?! FUJI NU! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!"

At that, the entire Seigaku team turned and stared, jaws dropped at the public announcement. Even Fuji was starring, eyes wide open, at his best friend, "…Ei…ji…?...You're kidding right?"

The acrobat blinked, looking at the others, "Nyao? ….I mean…uuuh…eh-heh…oopsies."

Jirou, at the time still half asleep, looked at the rival team tiredly, "Wha's goin' on?"

On his own team, Atobe was starring in disbelief at the red head. He was kidding. He had to be kidding. Maybe he'd just heard wrong. He'd just make sure….

"…He's….what?"

"…My…uh…good…friend?" Kikumaru grinned cheekily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and scooting towards his doubles partner, "Everyone knows I'm going out with Oishi…eh-heh."

"NANI?! EIJIIIIIIII!"

All eyes turned to the usually narcoleptic player, who was now wide awake and on the verge of bursting into tears, "YOU SAID I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

"NYAO! JIROU, WE'RE SUPPOSE TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THAT IN PUBLIC—"

"HE'S YOUR WHAT?! KIKUMARU." Everyone turned to Atobe, most surprised by the lack of the usual smug smile being replaced by a look of pure annoyance and loathing. "When the hell did that happen?!"

"Uh…a couple of months ago…." Kikumaru muttered, eyes shifting nervously, before he cringed, as Jirou again pipped in, still on the verge on of crying, "Liar! It was two years ago and you know it!"

"Jirooooooooooooou! You're gonna get me in trou—"

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Atobe growled, pointing at the red head furiously, "RELENQUISH YOUR CONTROL OVER JIROU! NOW!"

"THE HELL WHY!? I MAY BE YOUR COUSIN BUT YOU DON'T CONTROL MY PUBLIC…slash…LOVE LIFE…THING!"

"WRONG! As I am a member of the main family, and you aren't, you are under MY CONTROL!"

"NU-UH!" With that, Kikumaru bound across the court, diving at his boyfriend and clinging protectively, "MY JIROU!" He proceeded in patting the boy on the head, with a smirk that would have normally been on Atobe's face, "It's ok, Keigo's just being jealous And bitchy! …Even though I coulda sworn that was Mukahi-san's job—"

"OI! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PRAT!"

"BITE ME!"

"I'd say his partner's more of a bitch. He stole my move." Fuji put in.

"Good point. THEY'RE BOTH BITCHES." Kikumaru declared, cringing when Atobe jumped back into the conversation and glared.

"KIKUMARU!"

"FECK OFF KEIGO."

"….What's going on?" Jirou asked, once again falling asleep to the soothing pets to his head and losing all focus. Atobe twitched, and Kikumaru gave him a final pat, "Nuthin! You just focus on your match with Fujiko!"

"We're not finished here, Kikumaru!" Atobe snapped.

"I'd say you are." Fuji hissed, hands on hips and glaring in annoyance, "I'd like to finish this. And I get to yell at Eiji first."

"HOI!? What'd I do?!" The red head looked over his shoulder tearfully.

Fuji stared a moment, then gave in with a sigh after a barely five second mental battle of not breaking under the kitten stare, "…Fine. "Talk" later."

"…Oi! Hold it!" Momo interjected as the shock finally wore off and pointed at Oishi, "I thought you were going out with Kikumaru-sempai!"

At this, the Golden Pair looked at each other, then away, blushing, and Oishi attempted to scoot away from his team, "Er…we never said we were…."

"But…but… …I'm confused." The power player looked between, then at Kaido and Echizen, "Did you guys catch…any of that?"

Both shook their heads, as Inui began explaining in simple terms, "Kikumaru's never gone out with Oishi. They're just good at doubles play, which is something we need in Seigaku. ….As to who Oishi goes out with…." Inui looked at the assistant captain with a frown, "I've yet to figure out."

"I…uh…ano…y'see…well. He's uh…."

"But there is _someone_." Fuji asked, now distracted from the match and more interested in his teammates personal lives.

"…He's uh…"

"Did he come to watch our match?" Momo asked suddenly, prodding at his sempai with a grin, "You should introduce us to him!"

"He's not here!" Oishi said quickly, his face beet red.

At that, Fuji looked at the racquet in his hand thoughtfully, then back at Oishi with a sadistic grin. Idly, he waved the racquet, as though signaling he wanted the match to continue and someone should come drag Kikumaru off the court. As he'd wanted, only Oishi saw the gesture, or at least looked far into it.

"NO! LIES. HE'S LYING!" Oishi panicked, while Fuji giggled, "innocently, "I didn't say anything Oishi I was asking you to come grab Eiji so I could start my match."

Jaws dropped once more, and all eyes went straight to Oishi, "SERIOUSLY?!"

"…er…."

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late...my doctor's appointment ran...late...why's everyone starring?"

Gazes shifted to the new voice, and Momo pointed, flailing where he stood, "Kawamura-sempai! You…Oishi-sempai….WHAT?!"

Kawamura stared a moment, then blushed and looked at Oishi sheepishly, "I thought we agreed not to tell them?"

"FUJI DID IT!"

"No I didn't!" Fuji smiled innocently, waving at his occasional doubles partner, "How's your hand Taka? Better I hope? It'd be so unfortunate if it were more than a minor wound…sprains can be so annoying given certain situations, you know." As Fuji went on embarrassing both, Oishi turned to Tezuka, whimpering, "Please make him stop. You're the captain, he'll listen to you, right?"

Tezuka stared for a moment, then sighed, "There's only one way to stop him at this point, and I'd really rather not—"

"I don't care make him stop!" Oishi wailed, clinging tightly to Tezuka's arm pitifully, "Please make him stop?"

Again, the captain stared, before sighing, and shaking his head, "Very well. I warned everyone though." With that, he pried his groveling assistant captain from his arm and walked onto the court calmly.

* * *

**Post AN: **

HellRaiser:...THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE SHORT. IT'S ALL IO'S FAULT. BLAME HER.

Iori: ...No it's not! It's the soda!

HellRaiser: ...Good point. ...WHY DOES THIS HAVE CHAPTERS? IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A SHORT ONE SHOT! ...heeeey...if you put 'to be' together you get 'Tobe! YAY ATOBE! ...Right. Um...

Iori:...-smacks- >. Get back to work!

HellRaiser:...This is the slave driving co-writer you've heard so much about.

Iori: LOVE MEEEEEE! ...NOW WORK!

HellRaiser:...-grumbles and slithers away- Yes 'am. ...WE HAVE TEN PAGES. WHY IS THIS SO LONG?!

Everyone: WORK, DAMN IT!

Iori:...-puts on Tatsumi costume, complete with fake glasses and a paper fan- ...

...X3! -puts on her Watari costume- BWEHEHEHEHEHE! -complete with 003 plushie!- ...I'm going. -crawls-


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2!

**Disclaimer: **Yes! We totally own Tennis no Oujisama! THAT'S WHY TEZUKA AND FUJI ARE SO CANON!!! -cackles- ...And if you bought that...then...oO;;; there's something wrong with you.

**AN:** So! Chapter two! ...God. Why does it have chapters? THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A ONE SHOT!!

Io: OI!

RIGHT! ...what were we saying? ...Oh well. Enjoy. LOVE IT! ...or...hate it. it's up to you really o.o

* * *

"—And if you're on a date, that would certainly--…hi, Tezuka." Fuji waved happily, oblivious as to what had just been requested of the captain, "Is something wrong?"

Without bothering to explain, he grabbed the tensai by the shoulders and kissed him firmly before releasing him, "That's enough."

Fuji pouted, be it from the command to stop fooling around or the fact the kiss had ended, who knew…and who cared or noticed at that moment. Everyone's jaws had once again hit the floor, this time including Inui, Kawamura and Oishi, who had previously been undisturbed by the news of relationships flying around the courts.

On the Hyoutei side, things were about the same. Choutouro, who'd been very quiet up to that point, and trying to keep Shishido from jumping into the conversation suddenly looked to his partner, with a hurt look, "How come you never kiss me like that in public?"

The question caused the Hyoutei team to turn and stare at the two, as Shishido stammered to answer. Gakuto beat him to it, hands on his hip, "Because he's not worth it! You could do better than that, Ohtori! Shame on you!" The red head scolded, successfully drawing a growl from the other third year.

"Beat it, Mukahi."

"But…Mukahi-sempai…I've been with Shishido-sempai for a long time." The second year blinked, blushing a bit at the announcement, "I don't think it's that weird."

"It's as weird as Atobe being related to the loud mouth."

"Like you're one to talk," Shishido muttered, sending the acrobat into a rage.

"FUCK OFF, SHISHIDO!"

"Down Gakuto." Oshitari put an arm around his partner's waist and hauled him off, "You can play the blame game with each other later. …Atobe?"

Atobe, during that small conversation, had had his eyes locked on the court. While he was still mad at his cousin, he was now in a state of eternal shock and disappointment. He _had_ had a slight crush on Jirou…and he'd always admired Tezuka…this wasn't his day. He growled a bit and turned on his heel, "You're in charge, Oshitari. Don't let anyone kill anyone else." And stormed off.

_Grr…Kikumaru…is so dead…at our next family gathering. Dead…dead, dead, dead, dead, dead! …And Tezuka. …Grrrr…Fuji's a target now as well. I will annihilate them! I will—_

Atobe found his inner-monologue interrupted by a sudden crashing into another person, successfully sending both to the ground. The Hyoutei captain growled, "Watch where you're going!"

"I could say the same to you! …Oi. Hold it. You're wearing a Hyoutei uniform…do you know where the practice match is then?"

Atobe looked up in annoyance, to find himself starring at giant stormy-blue eyes sparkling at him. He blinked a moment, then looked over the uniform. Rokkaku. _….Hold a tic._ _What the Hell's a Rokkaku player doing all the way out here?_

"…Why?"

"Er…my friend's playing. I wanted to watch…and give him my regards and…ask him out." The other boy admitted sheepishly, although he was still grinning. Normally, the Hyoutei captain would've let him be disappointed, but being in the sour mood he was, he decided to damper the cheerful disposition himself.

"Well then, I feel I should warn you now. If you were referring to Tezuka, Oishi, Kikumaru, Fuji, or Kawamura, you might as well go back to Chiba."

"…Fuji-kun's going out with someone?" The other asked, crestfallen.

"I just said that didn't I?"

"B…but…he never told me…." He looked ready to start crying then, and Atobe suddenly felt bad. _…I never felt bad. …Bastard. Grrr…_

"…Don't. Cry."

"I'm not crying!" He snapped, then, as though suddenly remembering his manners, blushed and jumped up, offering Atobe a hand up, "Sorry about the trouble…er. I'm Saeki Koujirou... Atobe, right?"

"…Why do you know that?" Atobe ignored the offered hand and stood himself, dusting his jersey off.

"Everyone knows about you." Saeki blinked, thinking the answer should have been obvious, "You're one of the most famous players. Right up there with Tezuka and Yukimura."

"...Don't say that name."

"…What name?"

"Tezuka. …Damn it! Don't make me say it either!"

"….Why?"

…_Clueless idiot._ "…I don't know if I should call you dense or lucky."

"What's that suppose to mean? I just met you! You just told me my best friend was already going out with someone, and it's not like I can read your min--…" Saeki went quiet, lost in thought, and then squeaked quietly, "…Oh…I…get it. You liked Tezuka…but Tezuka-san was…er…is. With Fuji-kun. Right?"

"….Didn't I just tell you not to say his name?"

"…Sorry." Saeki shrugged, looking around awkwardly, "Er…I guess I better get going…then…er. Wanna go get a drink or something? I'll buy as an apology?"

Atobe stared at him, then sighed, shrugged and shook his head, "Why not? I've got nothing better to do." With that, the two wandered off, Saeki happily chatting away his life story, while Atobe was left to listen in half annoyance, though he would never admit he was actually listening and was interested in what he was hearing.

Back on the courts, things were somewhat settled. The match had finally started after another few minutes that it took to pry Kikumaru off of Jirou, and to get Fuji to stop trying to torment Oishi and Kawamura. The match had become friendly, as Fuji swore not to reap vengeance on the narcoleptic player, and everyone on the sidelines was in quiet conversation. Namely the three underclassmen…at which Momo was the center of the conversation, still trying to figure it all out.

"…Ok. So…Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-sempai are going out. Kikumaru-sempai is going out with the weird guy—"

"Akutagawa-sempai." Kaido put in, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever. Oishi-sempai is going out with Kawamura-sempai…and everyone knew about the other four. So…Is that everyone?"

"Except for Inui-sempai." Echizen pointed out, looking over at the data player in his usual dead set manner. The two second years looked as well. Momo pushed Kaido a bit, "Oi. You train with him. Go ask him."

"You're the one that wants to know! You ask him!"

"Actually," A voice drawled from behind them, causing all three to turn, "He's going out with the Rikkai Dai data player."

"He has a name." Inui cut in, causing the three to turn once more, "Yanagi Renji. I'd thought you'd know the name of a fellow annalistic player, Oshitari-san."

"I never paid much mind to Rikkai Dai outside of their doubles." The Hyoutei player admitted, shrugging carelessly, "Why should I? Atobe, Jirou, Kabaji and Hiyoshi can handle singles."

"True…but back to our original subject." Inui turned to his group of kouhai, "I don't have any dating data on you three. Talk. Now. Or suffer." He pulled a glass of Inui Juice out of seemingly nowhere. All three blanched and quickly backed up.

"Inui, put that away." Tezuka snapped, not bothering to turn around, "And don't threaten them. If anything, I thought you would be taking notes on Fuji. He's actually playing a semi-real game."

At that, Inui quickly returned to his post of monitoring the game, and Oshitari returned to the other side of the court to keep Gakuto from launching at Shishido, before Ohtori began spasming.

Echizen looked up, between his two upperclassmen, "So. Who are you two going out with?"

Kaido hissed and stalked away, breaking into a run after calling back that he was going for a light warm-up run, and Momo rubbed the back of his neck, "That's rude, Echizen. We're upperclassmen! You should be respecting us!"

"…You act like I care. I kick your ass, therefore you respect me." The rookie smirked, "Now. Ans--…just a second." He cut off as his cell phone rang and dug the object from his bag, flipping it open, "Yo."

"We're still on for tonight right?"

"Hell yes."

"Did you ask everyone else? And make sure it was alright?"

"Please, they'll agree."

"…Whatever you say, Ryo."

"I'm always right. You know that."

"Oi, who are you talking to?" Momo asked, prodding the freshman in the side. Echizen glared and smacked his hand away.

"Ryo?"

"Sorry. He's always like that."

"He can see us?"

"Shut up, Momo."

"…Whatever you say. Just remember to ask."

"I know, I know. Even if I don't, Atobe wouldn't pass up a chance like this."

"…Good point. Later, Ryo."

"Later, Wakashi." With that, the phone was flipped closed and thrown back into the confines of his tennis bag. He looked up to find Momo starring at him in shock.

"Wakashi…as in…Hiyoshi?!"

"…Yeah, so?"

"…I thought you hated Hiyoshi?!"

"…Uh. No. I never said that." Echizen rolled his eyes, "Mada mada. …And now that you know who I go out with, answer me!"

"…Kaido."

Echizen starred at him for a second, the glared, "Liar."

"I am not!"

"You are so! I saw you with that speed freak from Fudomine yesterday!"

"So what—"

"_Kissing._"

"Lia—"

"YOU WHAT?!"

* * *

Bwehehehehehe! Fear the cliffhanger! FEAR IT!

HellRaiser here, once again with her lovely, violent slave-driver, Io-chan--

Io: HI! BOW TO ME!

HellRaiser: NEVER! BE AWED BY MY PROWESS!

Io:...Work ,woman.

HellRaiser: ... .> rrrr. Righto! More to come later!

Both: REMEMBER. REVIEWS MAKE US HAPPY!


	3. Chapter 3

_Recap:_

_"You are so! I saw you with that speed freak from Fudomine yesterday!"_

_"So what—"_

_"Kissing."_

_"Lia—"_

_"YOU WHAT?!"_

* * *

Momo jumped and spun around, while Ryoma merely looked up, holding his magic ponta can to his lips. Kaido had returned from his "light warm-up run" and was now glaring death and daggers at Momoshiro, who was trying to back away, "Er…I swear I can explain."

"You better." The other hissed, starting to close the distance between them, "Talk. Now." He raised his fist, ready to beat the other power player into the ground at a second's notice.

Momo was…"saved" by a sudden blur of green flying between him and Kaido and everyone looking at them, then back to the court. Fuji was smiling, ever so innocently, as he waved, "Play nice, boys."

"Yes sempai—"

"HE'S CHEATING ON ME!" Kaido exclaimed, pointing at Momo angrily, not seeming to realize what he'd said. At that, everyone's jaws once again dropped. Inui dropped his notebook, starring, and even Fuji was starring at that point. Kikumaru looked between them, curiously, "…I thought Momo was going out with Kamio?"

Kaido turned back on Momo, glaring, "How. Long. You. Bastard."

"Er…."

"A couple of months at least," Fuji put in, looking unnaturally confused, "I saw them together, too."

"…This is…odd data…where's my notebook?!" Inui looked around in panic.

"...HOI?! MIZUKI AND KIRIHARA ARE GOING OUT?!"

Everyone turned to Kikumaru, who had stolen the notebook the moment he noticed it had been dropped. Inui pounced at him, trying to get the notebook away, "Bad! You know better than to read that!"

"But…but!...Oh! Wait! Better one! ….HOLY SHIT?! SENGOKU'S GOING OUT WITH AKUTSU?!"

"Uh…yeah." Taka blinked, "I thought everyone knew that?"

"NO!" Everyone yelled at once, including the Hyoutei players, who had migrated over to see what all the fuss was.

Kikumaru squirmed away, diving behind Choutouro with the notebook. Inui started to follow, but quickly thought better when he saw Shishido growl, raising his fist threateningly when the data player tried to push past his boyfriend. He settled with glaring at the acrobat, who squealed happily.

"KAWAII!"

"Who now, Eiji?"

"Yeah, yeah! Who!" Jirou bounced over, Fuji following. The narcoleptic player pounced his boyfriend, catching the notebook as it flew out of his hands and looked down, squealing as well.

"D'aw! Ishida-san and Taichi-kun! Kawaii!"

"Really? Awww!" Fuji leaned over, looking down as well, "Hm…Sanada-san and Yuki-chan, as expected. Bunta-san and Jackal-san, Niou-san and Yagyuu-san…expect--…oh my."

Jirou blinked, squinting at the writing, "Does that say what I think it does?"

"…I…think so." Fuji blinked, taking the book for further inspection, "Tachibana-san…?"

At that, everyone else jumped in, "WHO'S HE GOING OUT WITH!?"

"Someone named Hatake Nohiro. …He sounds cute"

"Fuji." Tezuka growled warningly.

"Ok, ok..hey, Inui. Do you keep profile pictures?"

"…."

"…I'll take that as a yes." Fuji grinned, flipping through the book until he found them, "Let's see…Hatake…Hatake…D'aw! He is cute!" Kikumaru and Jirou bounced up, looking over the tensai's shoulders and cooing as well, "He is!"

"I wanna see!" Gakuto bounced over, pushing Kikumaru down as a boost and looked as well, "…He looks plush."

"That's cute!" The other three giggled. Inui, the entire time, glared and growled. He'd considered trying to get his book back when Jirou took it, but when Fuji took it he'd backed down again. And now that there was a crowd, he definitely wasn't going to get it. That sucked.

"Oh man…did we miss the matches?"

Everyone immediately turned to the new voice, though Seigaku…most of Seigaku, quickly turned away again. Kamio had his arm around Ibu's shoulders, looking at them blankly, "….What?"

Gakuto pointed, "Oi! You're the two weirdos from Fudomine!"

"…Shut up. …Whoa. Hold it." Kamio starred a moment, blinking, "…You're on the Hyoutei Tennis team?"

"…No shit, Sherlock."

"…You're a guy?"

"….THE FUCK?! DIE!" Before the violent acrobat could launch himself at the other red head, his boyfriend caught his waist and smartly dragged him back.

"…He's a guy. Wow. …Yo, mamushi. Who are you glaring at? Or is that your new greeting?"

Kaido hissed. He'd been glaring since the two got there, and the comment only made the glare worse. Behind him, Momo was trying to motion for the two to leave as soon as possible, though Kamio was oblivious to it and Ibu barely paid attention to him. He was caught in one of his self-conversations about Gakuto's temper. The Fudomine Ace was still picking at Kaido before he drew attention from him back to Echizen, "Oi! …You're going out with him?!"

Everyone looked over, just in time to see Echizen breaking away from a kiss with Hiyoshi in annoyance. He turned, leaning back into the Hyoutei player with a scowl, "What? You act like you've never seen people kissing. Quit gawking."

"It's not their fault." Hiyoshi patted the rookie's head lightly, "They're a dense lot."

Gakuto once again jumped in, "BAD HIYOSHI! Consorting with the enemy!"

"Hey! I'm going out with Eiji!" Jirou pointed out, pouting.

"…Yeah, but you're both freaks."

"Oi!" They yelled in unison, clinging to each other.

"…Point proved." Gakuto rolled his eyes, looking back at Hiyoshi, "Were you planning on telling us any time soon?"

"…No, not really." The second year blinked, "Why would I?"

"…Atobe's going to kick your ass."

"Actually," Kikumaru drawled, as he, Jirou, and Fuji pulled black shades out of nowhere and slid them on, "They've been going out for a loooooooong time. We saw their first date!"

Everyone looked at them in slight disturbance. Inui looked away first, noting that Ohtori and Shishido had also put on the glasses, "…You knew too?"

The tall second year grinned, pulling the glasses off as he answered, "Of course! Hiyo-kun and I hang out all the time when the third years are gone!" They looked to Shishido next, who shrugged smugly, "I just like the look, and he happened to have an extra pair of shades. Personally, I don't give a damn who Hiyoshi's going out with."

Fuji took his glasses off, tilting his head curiously and looked to Ohtori, "…Ohtori-kun. Where were you keeping those exactly? I don't think your jacket pockets are actually big enough for two pairs…and the pockets on your pants are reserved for tennis balls…. …Oh my."

Ohtori promptly blushed while most everyone else looked on in confusion. Fuji, Kikumaru and Jirou all giggled, while Shishido looked over them with a glare, "What? It's easier to get them from his back pocket than ask for 'em."

"Shishido-san…."

"What? You act like I've never grabbed your ass in public."

At that, the second year's face turned completely red. He was lucky enough to have the attention drawn off of him by a sharp smack of flesh meeting flesh. Everyone turned, finding Kamio sprawled on the ground, and Momo trying to hold Kaido back. During the small fiasco, Kamio had resumed teasing Kaido…which had led to a rather unfortunate end for the speed demon.

"Oi! Kaoru!"

"Don't call me that, bastard!"

"What's your problem, Mamushi?!" Kamio jumped up, tenderly rubbing the area he'd been struck. A red mark was already forming on his cheek, looking like it would swell for sure. Ibu looked over calmly, and moved about to find an iced water bottle or cloth he could use to reduce swelling.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU BOYFRIEND STEALING ASSHOLE!"

At that, Ibu turned around, the water bottle in his hand falling as his grip was lost. His usually dazed look replaced by a glare.

"…What?"

"Ignore him Shinji—"

"THESE TWO HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON BOTH OF US FOR THE PAST GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. AND NOW. THEY'RE GOING TO DIE." Kaido was struggling to get back to beating the livings out of Kamio, but when Kawamura joined in holding him back, he quickly gave up, knowing it would pointless to try escaping.

"What are you—"

Kamio never got to finish the sentence as he was once again smacked. This time by his own boyfriend. Ibu glared down at him, coldly, "You've got about five seconds to start talking. Before I unleash Hell on your miserable soul."

"Er…Ibu-kun—"

"Shut up." Ibu turned on Momo then, glaring even deadlier at him, "You're next on the list—"

"What is going on here?!"

"Tachibana-san! Save me!" Kamio scrambled over to hide behind his captain's leg, starring at Ibu and Kaido, "They've cracked under pressure…or something."

The glares returned to him, Ibu advancing as a deathly pace, though Tachibana held him at arm's length, looking confused, and over all concerned, "…What did I miss?"

"Finally got caught, boys?"

* * *

**_To be continued..._**

...o.o hrm.these posts keep getting longer and longer...how odd n.n;

**Jiko Fujiani:** Don't worry, there'll be AtobexTezuka later -nods- I promise. (personally, I like TezukaxFuji, AtobexFuji, AtobexTezuka/TezukaxAtobe all the same...TezukaxFujixAtobe OT3...but...yeah.) ...Thanks for the review -heart!-

**Mada Mada Daze:** Yeah...I don't usually pair Ryoma with Hiyoshi either, but we already had Momo with Kaido/Kamio, so uh...yeah. And there aren't many pairings I like with Ryoma...and yeah. God I'm never going to drink that soda near midnight again XD -was friggin' wired-

**cherushiichan:** Thanks


	4. Chapter 4

OHAYO! HRA HERE! WITH MY FATEFUL CO-WRITER, IO-CHAN!!!!!!! WE HAVE….random short crack for you! ENJOY –clapclapclap-

Hyoutei-Seigaku…gone horridly wrong.

So…uh. This was suppose to be a spoofy-spinoff-ish thing of the official match between Hyoutei and Seigaku….but uh. It took a few interesting turns as we continued drinking our Dr. Pepper (PURE IMPERIAL SUGAR CANE BABEH …oh look Imperial YAY IMPERIAL HYOUTEI!!!) but uh…point is. The plot kind of changed. So, to give you a small idea of what's going on:

Hyoutei and Seigaku are suppose to be playing a friendly match. Fuji's still bitter about Jirou beating his brother, but y'know. It's Fuji. He likes holding grudges. ….But um. Things start taking interesting turns from this match. Enjoy!

….What happened to this being a short one-shot fluff?

…OH GOD IT HAS CHAPTERS TT-TT!!!!

* * *

_"Tachibana-san! Save me!" Kamio scrambled over to hide behind his captain's leg, starring at Ibu and Kaido, "They've cracked under pressure…or something."_

_The glares returned to him, Ibu advancing as a deathly pace, though Tachibana held him at arm's length, looking confused, and over all concerned, "…What did I miss?"_

_"Finally got caught, boys?"

* * *

_

Everyone present turned to the new voice, and jaws once more hit the floor. Tezuka, Hiyoshi and Echizen included. Atobe had finally return from his disappearance…with an accompaniment. Saeki had his arm twined in Atobe's, holding his hand lightly and looking over everyone semi-cluelessly, "…I think we missed something."

"Nothing important, I assure you. I was wondering when you two would get caught cheating." Atobe smirked, his all knowing smug look back on his face, "It's been what…? Five months?"

At that, Ibu's teeth clenched and he turned his glare back on Kamio, "Five. MONTHS?! …KAMIO."

At this, the red head yelped and took off as fast as he could, with his…now ex-boyfriend close behind. Kaido, in turn, turned to Momo, "You….fucking…BASTARD." With that, he found a way to squirm out of Kawamura's hold, which had weakened exceptionally due to the power player's current shock, and tackled his own ex-boyfriend to the ground, managing to get a good punch in before he was once again dragged off. It left Momo with a bloodied nose, and everyone who'd known about the affair shaking their heads.

"Kaido, please calm down..." Inui tried reasoning with the second year, barely managing to get out of the way of his fist.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" With that, Kaido broke free once more and stormed off, muttering threats and swears to himself the entire time.

Kawamura looked after him, and then down at Momo, in a disappointed look, albeit concerned, "…I…guess I'll get him to the nearest hospital. Even though I'm not entirely sure you didn't deserve that punch."

Oishi nodded in agreement, going over to help Momo up with a sigh, "Even I think you deserved it. And I'm a pacifist."

The two started to leave, and Hiyoshi frowned, prodding at Echizen, "Oi. Ryo."

"…Oh yeah. Oi! Kawamura-sempai!" Kawamura turned around, looking confused, as the rookie finished his sentence, "We're coming over to the restaurant tonight."

"….Oh. Okay." He shrugged and waved as he dragged Momo off, being none-too-gentle in the process.

"See?" Echizen looked up at his boyfriend with a smug smirk, "Told you they wouldn't care."

Elsewhere, Kaido had finally begun to calm down a bit. He was still plotting a deathly vengeance towards Momo and Kamio, but he doubted he'd get away with it if the idiot was at the hospital. He growled and stalked over to a nearby park bench and fell into it, still muttering to himself.

His mutters were soon accompanied by a second person muttering.

"You know. If we did kill them, we could get away with it more or less. The only people that would really know would be our teammates, and I think they're on our side at this point and wouldn't really care. Of course, Tachibana-san might care that he's losing his vice-captain and next year's captain…but I'm sure he can find a replacement. It's not like anyone would actually miss yours either, would they? He's only good for power playing after all, and you and Kawamura are both stronger than him—"

"…Are you done?" Kaido asked, starring at the Fudomine tensai.

"…For now. I suppose. Why? Would it matter if I wasn't? I don't see why you would care, unless you had a proposal as to how we go about getting back at them—"

"Actually, I did."

"...Oh. Then carry on." Ibu sat down, watching the Seigaku player expectantly.

"We'll find the means later. But the first step, is definitely making them jealous." Kaido nodded, mostly to himself. He'd overheard his sempai talking about things like that a lot…namely between Fuji and Kikumaru, as Fuji plotted what he'd do if Tezuka ever even thought about cheating on him.

"That makes sense. …Can we get ice cream first? My throat's hurting from yelling at Kamio. …Wow, it sounds weird calling him by his last name. I'm so use to saying Akira that it almost seems alien—"

"Ice cream's a good idea." Kaido quickly cut in, before the other could start another monologue, "Strawberry?"

"Of course." Ibu blinked, "No flavour compares to strawberry."

"…This could be the start of a beautiful friendship." They both nodded, with a smile coming from both. The last thing Kaido thought, as they headed towards the ice cream parlour, was how much Ibu's smile was like Fuji's when he was upset…and how screwed Kamio was going to be when the infamous "tensai wrath" was unleashed.

_Elsewhere..._

"I know you don't know me that well, but please let me hide here for a while! Please Fuji's little brother—"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW!" Yuuta pointed at the door angrily, still confused as to why Kamio was in his room, but more peeved about being referred to as the younger brother again at the moment.

"I can't! You don't understand! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME!"

"…Who? Aniki?"

"Worse…my boyfriend…er. I suppose he's my ex-boyfriend now, though."

"…You mean Momoshiro?" Yuuta tilted his head. Why would Momo want to kill him?

"What? No! Shinji!"

"…You were going out with Ibu-san?"

Kamio stared at him, then jumped up and bolted for the door, "You're on his side! Argh! I can't stay here!"

Yuuta just stared after him and fell onto his bed with his book. He'd long retreated from the practice matches, after his brother had announced that he was going to crush the poor Hyoutei player for embarrassing him. It hadn't been _that_…ok. Yeah, it was embarrassing, but that was beside the point!

His train of thought didn't last much longer as the door was once more thrown open. He'd half expected it to be his brother, or someone else from Seigaku telling him that his brother had actually killed the poor narcoleptic. Luckily, it wasn't. It was his manager, looking between being overly pleased and annoyed.

"Mizuki-sempai…where've you been?"

"Contemplating my match with Takahisa-san. Again. Grrr. We shouldn't have lost that match!"

"…You were with Kirihara-san."

"…I never said I wasn't." Mizuki complained, "He's the only one that'll listen when I need to vent."

"I _would_ if you'd stop complaining about that particular match! I'd rather listen to you praise my brother than complain about that."

"…I haven't gotten that bad, have I?"

"A month." Mizuki stared at him, and Yuuta rolled his eyes, "You've been complaining about it for a month." He then began holding up tape recorders, five total, "These are from listening to you complain about it."

"…Why and how?"

At that, the younger Fuji smirked, slipping on a pair of black shades, "I've got the best connections."

"…You scare me sometimes. Anyways, Akazawa's cooking. You might want to find your own means of dinner."

"…But Akazawa-sempai can cook good."

"…But he only feeds Kaneda. Now. You. Food. Fetch."

"…You didn't eat?"

At that Mizuki didn't answer, just looked at him and Yuuta quickly fled the room. He didn't mind getting his sempai food sometimes, but that was at least the fourth time that week that he'd had to get something for Mizuki. He sighed, walking at a decent pace down the corridor. He'd just make Mizuki pay him back later. With a satisfied nod, he turned the corner that led to the entrance doors, and unexpectedly found himself sprawled on the floor in an interestingly compromising position.

"…Do you mind getting off of me?" The person he'd landed on asked, looking up at him oddly. At that, Yuuta blushed and quickly jumped up, helping the other person up.

"Sorry…I was…uh…."

"Not paying attention?" The other person offered, and then shrugged it off, "It's ok. It's worse at my school. Anyways…can you tell me where Mizuki is? I kind of owe him an apology, I guess."

At that, Yuuta took the time to examine the other person.

"…Takahisa-san, right?"

"Uh…yeah, how'd you know?"

"Mizuki-sempai's been ranting about you for the past month."

"…Oh." Takahisa looked down, rubbing the back of his neck in an embarrassed manner, while Yuuta again took the time to look over him, this time taking in his looks.

"Ano…Fuji Yuuta, right?"

That time Yuuta stared, "How do you know that?"

"You look like your brother."

"I'M NOT MY BRO--..what? No I don't!" He'd half been expecting to hear something about how everyone referred to him as Syusuke's little brother, and stumbled over his small recovery, "I don't look anything like him!"

"Yeah you do." Takahisa nodded, "Same eyes, when he actually opens them…. Same hair colour, too…and facial structure."

Before Yuuta could protest, the Jyousei player reached over, tilting his head up gently, "And don't argue. It's rude to argue with a sempai."

"What?!"

"I'm a third year, you're a second year. I'm also a captain, therefore even more rude."

Yuuta had given up by that time and settled with giving in, "Whatever. Can I go now? I'm suppose to be getting food for my team." _Lazy ass room mate…and team for that matter. Damn captain only cooking for Kaneda._

"All of them?"

"Most of them. The captain doesn't cook for all of us, and since he _is_ cooking tonight, that usually means someone has to go get food for everyone else." _…And why am I telling you this again?_

"Oh. In that case, I'll help." Takahisa shrugged, "It's the least I can do…seeing as how I still owe Mizuki-san an apology, and now you since we just crashed into each other."

"…Oh….kay…?" At that point, the younger brother had completely lost all interest in trying to argue and sighed, "Well, do you have anywhere in mind then? I usually stop at whatever's closest, but I'm…fairly sure they're all sick of that by now."

"…There's a sushi place not too far from here. We could go there."

"…Fair enough." _I can get something for aniki too and hopefully use it as a peace treaty so he doesn't kill anyone…_

Without a second thought he ended up following the Jyousei third year, while striking up random conversation the entire way. They had no idea how awkward their evening was about to get.

* * *

...Ok. Wow. I've had this sitting on my computer for a good month or two o-o;;; -sweatdrop- Sorry. I didn't even realize I hadn't posted it.


End file.
